Mahligai mu dari airmata ku

Mahligai mu dari airmata ku
Dari: Lestari

Izinkan diriku meluahkan rasa,
maafkan lah aku andai kau terasa,
biar ku paparkan apa yang terjadi
moga engkau tak ulangi.

Sungguh tak ku sangka kau berpaling tadah,
setelah lamanya menjalinkan cinta,
dalam diam-diam kau sudah berpunya
tanpa aku menyedari semuanya.Aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia
bersama sidia insan yang kau suka,
percintaan kita tak sampai kemana
setakat dibibir saja.

Sayang,
kau bina mahligai dari air mata yang hancur berderai diwajah sepiku.
Hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata,
terhumban rasa diriku.Oh aduhai Kumasih ingati janji manis dan saat romantis,
kau pintaku supaya setia akhirnya kau yang berubah.
Tuhan ku tabahkan hatiku,temukan ku dengan ketenangan,
jiwa ini dibelasah rindu tetapi apa dayaku.

Kucuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena,
kerana ku masih teringat padamu.
Begitu payahnya nak ku melupakan,
pernahkan engkau fikirkan sayang.........


Hello, guess it's strange that i'm posting again for the 2nd time in a day. Well, just wanna share with you a song which i find really meaningful to me. For those of you who don't understand malay.. The song is actually about the writer expressing his feelings when his girlfriend run off with some other boy. This song kinda reminds me of someone, my EX of course. Although she does not run away with someone else, the feeling he experience is quite similar to what i felt. Oh well, to those who want to hear the song, i suggest you download it. The title and singer is together with the lyrics. If you peeps still can't find the song, you can ask me. I'll send it to you, alrightey then. Bye!

...

Wondering why during the first moments of a relationship, everything seems so right. Seems so perfect and it can only get better, but in truth.. Relationships at our age most of the times ends prematurely. Except for a few relationships, which lasts till their last breath, others come to an end. So, why must teens feel this way? Issit because their feelings towards another person is being send back the same way, thus we feel esctatic and use the term 'In Love'..

I watched my friends feeling happy and joyful when they embark on a new relationship with someone they so-called love and then become sad and heartbroken when that relationship fail. In the beginning, they sweet talk with one another, telling each other that they will never be apart and he/she will always be there forever in each others arms. Promises were made to each other, telling themselves that this relationship will last and nothing can separate them. Well, making promises is easy. Breaking them is even easier, but keeping your promises is the hardest.

So what is love? Love is often mistaken for infatuation. Most teens are too immature to understand what love is, however there are a few of them who knows what love is. Unfortunately, these few teens often end up with boys/girls that don't understand love. Or atleast, act like they understand love. Some of my friends tells me what they look for in a guy. They look for care, sincerity, love and etc. Yet, when i see the person they 'love', none of them possess the traits they wanted. Thus, its a matter of wrong choice.

My friend recently ended her relationship with a boy. Obviously she was very broken hearted as she really cared for him. The boy do care for her, but just not enough. Their relationship started pretty much the same as everyone's. Sweet talk, promises and etc. I told myself, nothing can come in between them.. Nothing except themselves. I wonder if they can be together and not get irritated by each other's behavior and character. Unfortunately, it came true. Apparently, the boy can't take the girls behavior. To him... She's over protective, always demanding to know where he has been and likes to be by his side always. Thus, he started to feel irritated.

I can't blame the guy for feeling this way nor i can't blame the girl for acting this way. Maybe the girl want the relationship to work out so much till she forgot to leave some space for the guy to do his own personal stuffs. This happens alot in a relationship. Haiz, teens in our age is best that we stick to being close friends. Its better this way. Besides, you don't lose anything. Instead, u gain a friendship. Embark on a relationship, u might end up losing both friendship and your love. If u think that the boy/girl you love, is truly the one.. Think again, cos that's what you also thought in your previous relationships.

Busy, Busy Busy

Studies, Mid-year Exams and... studies. Probably that's the most likely situation we students are in right now. Except for a few personal problems of course. Mid-Year exams is coming, bout a week from now. Since SYF is over, i must put my utmost concentration on my studies. I'm lacking behind abit in subjects like Humanities and Chemistry. The rest is pretty much okay, although okay i meant there is a chance of me passing.

Niwaes, sori if i hvae not been posting lately. Been busy with CME project, which i must finish by today. This weekend is goin to be a long one, since Monday there is no school. Labour Day holiday or May day i dunnoe and i don't care, as long as its a break from school den its fine by me. (",)

Life is abit complicated at the moment, trying hard to make the best of it. Although some issues i can't solve right now, i'm trying to hold it back till exams is over. That will be the most ideal solution. Today had school as per normal. First period P.E, the boys played soccer. I kinda have a slight pain at my left knee. I thought that if i played mildly then it won't hurt, guess i was wrong. The pain is quite mild, but it's been going on till now. Oh well, just bear with it.

After school, i went home first, took a bath and then went out for friday prayers. After that, i went home straight and took a nap. I was kinda tired and i woke up around 7.30pm. Quite long, didn't expect i was goin to sleep that long. My mom woke me up abruptly as usual. Reminds me of boot camp, she would knock on the door so hard and shout although i was just a few feet away from her. Maybe she think that im partially deaf or something, she could have knock on it gently and asked me to wake up instead of shouting. I tend to wake up easily sometimes, but most of the times i'm kinda 'dead' when i sleep.

Then i watched smallville, very nice show. This week's episode is quite okay, can't wait for next week though. It will be Superman meets The Flash. Maybe we will find out who is faster? The man who can run faster than a speeding bullet or the man with the speed of lightning??? Alrite then, that's all for today. I'm gonna finish my CME project now. U peeps take care, bye!

SYF results and the day after

SYF is over.. It could have been a double joy for the SNO but in the end, it was not meant to be. Early in the morning, the Gamelan Ensemble are to perform on stage around 10.30am. The gamelan boys trained really hard for the SYF, in the bus we even did 'airplay' to perfect the movements. In the end, when the results were announced at around 11.45, we achieved GOLD WITH HONOURS! The gamelan boys was esctatic, shouting and cheering aloud. The other two schools; Bukit Panjang Government High and Evergreen Secondary Schools achieved bronze and silver respectively. I myself was very happy because from the result, it shows that our standard is way above the rest of the school. We are the only school in Singapore to achieve higher than gold for Gamelan Ensemble.

Then, the angklung arrived at Singapore Conference Hall at around 12.30. Hearing the Gamelan achievements earlier in the day, im sure the kids were kinda under pressure. Since im playing for both ensemble, i changed from my gamelan outfit to Angklung outfit. I really thought that we can achieve gold with honours for the angklung as well. When our turn was next, we prepare ourselves and told ourselves that no matter what, we will do our best. And for the first time, we played Danny Boy really well! The song was played with expression.

After the performance, we was really happy with the way we played and we knew that it was our best. However, a looming black cloud arise out of nowhere. The SYF in-charge told us to line up in rows of 5, thus we did so. When they did a head count, turns out we had 51 members. We were 1 member too much. In SYF regulations, an ensemble can only have a maximum number of 50 members. Any number more, then it is an automatic disqualification.

At that moment, the SNO was really worried and confused because we did not know how the number reached 51. We submitted 50 names and in the end, 51 was playing. Then, after much deliberation, we found out that one of the reserves played. Kinda sux, really. I was pissed of and sad at the same time. Pissed off because i dunnoe know how in the world the person played for SYF knowing full well he/she was in reserve.

The angklung members awaits the decision from the organisers, whether they will disqualified us or deduct 10% from our total scores. Usually, it is an automatic disqualification but we were too good to be disqualified. Hey, im not boasting or trying to be a sore loser but it is really true. When the results was announced, we managed to get a silver. Probably the highest we were able to achieve since we were had 10% deducted. Even those that saw us perform couldn't believed that we achieved silver, but they do not know the full story.

Knowing that our best is something much more than a silver, all of us was really sad. Most cried, i shed a tear or two but that's it. And judging from the results achieved by the other schools, i was damn sure we can get gold with honours. But if only we counted before the SYF, if only every training we had full attendance then we won't be needing reserves, if only.. Yup, i have regrets bout it. I think we all do, i myself was pondering. What if... What if... I had all kinds of possible scenarios played in my head if we had 50 members playing instead of 51.

Niwaes, wat's done cannot be undone. This is my last SYF, therefore i participated in a total of 3 syf during my secondary school life. In sec 1, we sent the angklung ensemble only because the gamelan was not yet set up. And our first SYF, we managed to achieve a gold. In fact, we were the only gold awardee for that year. In sec 3, my 2nd SYF. i played for both Angklung and Gamelan Ensemble. By that year, the gamelan ensemble was already set up. The gamelan scored a gold whereas the Angklung scored a silver. Again for the angklung, there was some technical fault and instead of getting a gold, we get a silver. Kinda like a deja vu for me. This year, we got gold with honours( first time such award was given in the SYF) and silver. Thus, a total of 1 gold with honours, 2 golds and 2 silver. Quite an accomplishment i might say.

Today in school, Mr Tharmen explained to the students and teachers bout the 10% deduction and the gamelan ensemble was to go onstage infront of the whole school. Then in class for social studies, we had a debate regarding the Casino. No surprise, my group won. Although we did not meet up to gather info, i was confident we can win. And true enough we did! Kudos to Norman Tan for speaking really well. Although he was from the preposition group, and me from the opposition, he spoke really well and he kinda 'make' me to rise to another level of speaking. I thought that i can just do this with the minimum effort, but then i had to crack my brains up abit.

Alrightey then, i gotta go. Need to finish my homework, i stayed back in school till 4.30pm to do my DNT folio. Soo tired, now im gonna do my homework although i dunnoe what subject it is. If there's none, then i will revise my science and poa. K then, take care y'all. Bye!

SYF is tomorrow! Juz do the best we can

Heya, gonna post again.. Second time in a day but this one is gonna be short. Juz telling u peeps that my SYF is tomorrow at Singapore Conference Hall. Kinda excited and nervous at the same time, although its my 3rd SYF. Been part of the year 2001 batch when the Angklung achieved a gold. Then 2003, i took part in 2 ensemble. The Angklung and the Gamelan. Gamelan achieved a gold whereas the Angklung achieved a silver. Now, 2005.. What we achieve, only time can tell. And time says that the gamelan results will be known at around 11.30am and the Angklung at 5pm. But whatever the result maybe, our aim is to do our best. So to all SNO members, do your best tomorrow! Chowz

..Respect them for they are also like us..

I was on the way home from soccer today when i saw 2 kids and a maid sitting at the bus stop. From their clothing, i can say that the kids were on their way to a swimming complex, preferably at Hougang because its nearer. The maid was carrying the kids belongings such as towels, water bottles and extra clothes on a black backpack. The bag looks bulky and heavy, mayb there's just too much things inside. As expected, the 2 kids were not carrying anything.

What surprises me and caught my attention was the way they behave. The kids were running around aimlessly, shouting about at the bus stop and jumping around. The maid tried desperately to stop the children from playing around, especially near the roads where many cars are passing by. I pity the maid very much.

With the big bag, she tries to catch one of the kid. As playful as a child can be, they were able to outrun the maid. Running around and not listening to advice i can take it, but being rude( not for the sake of arguing of course, cause that's a different thing all together) to someone whom has done alot of things for them is something that i can't take it.

The 2 kids scold, more like cursed their maid. They shout vulgarities at them, the maid who is under contract can't hit the kids or scold them. All she can do is tell them to behave and 'hope' that they will obey. Unfortunately, 'hope' is something that won't be fulfilled easily. Personally, i don't trust to hope that much..

So the 2 kids scold the maid and even took the water bottle, and sprayed at the maid. Onlookers as usual do what they do best, look.. Enough is enough.. I then took the water bottle from the boy's hands and whack it at his head. Yar i noe that its wrong to do that, but i don't care. I just can't see someone or anyone to suffer and not being able to do anything about it.

I hold the boy's collar, and told him not to scold vulgarities at anyone stop spraying water or else... Well, in a more civilised manner, i'l rephrase for you what i said to the boy. I told him to stop it or else i will kick his A** and make sure that 'water' keeps on leaking till the doctors sew it up, and that he won't be able to celebrate father's day in the near future...

As usual, typical Singaporeans see but they dare not do anything. I think that its not a question of dare, its just that they don't care a damn and its not their business. But as an adult, they should noe what's morally right and they should do something if a teenager or a youngster did something which is rude.. If their parents is around, then of course we should not interfere.. But their parents was nowhere to be seen and they are even bullying the maid. Although maids are usually foreigners but they are here to make a living..

Define the term maid, to me, its someone who helps us in our daily chores to earn a living. They are part of the family during their stay here. Yes its true that maids tend to be on the bad side of the law, but its just a minor of them that has done such offence. I hope that it goes the same to children as well. But hope as you may, don't trust to it.

Word of advice

Dearest barbers, hairstylists or simply put, people who cuts hair for a living... When someone or your customers tells you they want their hair cut but not too short, or tell u that they want to keep their sideburn, please kindly adhere to their needs as they are paying for your services. Toady i went to get my hair cut. I told the barber that i don't want it short or too short and keep the sideburn.

Stupid me for falling asleep as he was cutting my hair but even much2 more stupid barber for not adhering to my request! As a result, my hair is now very short and no sideburn.. Argh!!! Stupid barber!!! Which part of the sentence; don't want it short or too short, he doesn't understand?? And which part of the sentence; keep the sideburn, he don't understand?? Ish3..

Today had SNO.. Technically it was 8am till 3pm. However, as expected, it extended till 5pm. Partly because the gamelan instruments needs to be polished up and the costumes need to be settled. SYF is just 2 days away, and today's practice was a combined practice with Hougang Sec. For their first round, Hougang played reallie well. I was kinda impressed as they have improved alot. However, the other few rounds was just ok2 for me.

SNO, started off pretty slow. But as time goes by, they improved bit by bit. Today, Mr Tharmen, Mdm Aisha and the T-I-C for Hougang judged us based on their knowledge of music. Mr Tharmen told us that the technical skills are already good. But whats lacking is showmanship. The way we move, our smiles and etc. Although this may just be little things and it only takes up bout 10% of the total score, its still important. It will affect the judges impression towards the group.

Oh well, tomorrow got soccer in the morning. Gonna have an early nite tonite. Very tired and sleepy, English homework mayb i'l do it tomorrow or i won't do it at all.. Only time can tell.. Good nite peeps, i'l be playing games for awhile before going to sleep.. (",)

Hanging by a moment

Friday is upon us!!! No, its not Friday the 13th. Jason isn't going around killing people. Today is the last day of the school week, which means tomorrow no school! Except for SNO training, which will start at 8am till 3pm. Today i didn't go for SNO, cos my bro suffered an asthma attack. Sigh.. When i reached home from school, there he was sitting in the living room. Panting and breathing heavily. After giving his medication, i called Mr Khamis that i won't be going for SNO training today. Hehe, just for today only im playing my role as the big brother.

School.. P.E was great. We plaayed soccer, although there was quite alot of people and dribbling tends to be very difficult at times. So i played casually, not exerting myself to chase the ball or dribble past a few of my friends. It was only during the final 2 minutes then i started to show abit only. Niwaes, its just a kick-a-bout with my friends so i don't mind the game ended with a draw.

After P.E, i had malay den social studies. For the first time, Mrs Warrier compliment that im cute!! Even with my hair all messed up, hahahx.. Today my hair is really so out of the control, gonna go for a haircut tomorrow. Maybe after SNO or worst, i'l do it on Sunday. I don't want to cut my hair like Ashaari, he's hair is too short to me. I just want it just nice, hopefully the barber gets the picture. Guess the fate of my hair now lies on the barber's exquisite hands.

Today, on my way home. Fyza and a girl name Farhayu smsed me. Fyza i just noe her bout 2 days ago. She from East View Sec, sec 2 i think. Whereas Farhayu is a new contact. She said she's from Siglap, adik angkat Raziz if i'm not mistaken. But i still can't picture her face, nor remember if i ever met her. Guess i'm reallie bad at names, need to see the person then i recognise them. I only remember the names of those who are either close to me or those whom i hang out and talk to everyday.

So after i attend to my brother at home, i slept for a while. Bout 2 hours, reallie a good sleep. Then i woke up, due to the sound of 'music'. 'Music' as in the shouting of my mom's voice asking me to wake up. Argh, of all the timing! Y now? I was soundly asleep and then her pitchy voice makes my ear ring. Worst part was she shouted not in my room, but from the living room. Sound travels reallie fast, but i didn't noe that the volume of her voice still remains the same as she shouting to me in my ear. Well, that's my mom. If my alarm clock spoils, trust her to give u a rude awakening. (",)

Okies then, gonna bath soon. Then, eat my dinner and watch Smallville. Dunnoe if i'l sleep early or late today. Niwaes, a piece of good news to share to y'all. Ifah said she got in the Visual Communication course at NAFA... I'm reallie proud of her, this goes to show that hardwork and peserverance pave the way for success. Although she had some setbacks and failure, she continue to peservere and in the end.. She is accepted. Hahahx, hope she will be able to use her artistic talents wisely and good luck in ur future endeavours!

Exciting? Nope.. Boring? Nope.. Juz a normal day it is

Today in school... Arrived school on time, what a sigh of relief! Morning assembly was ok2, had around 2 sec 1 class presenting their skit on stage. First period was maths, i had to see Ms Yong for 3 periods. Haiz, that means i just experience a very long morning. Not a good way to start my day, really.. After Maths, mother tongue was up next. I forgot to bring the kefahaman homework! DANG!!! Luckily she said to pass it up tomorrow, den had karangan homework which also need to be handed in tomorrow.

Today no physics!!! Mr Azam had to leave school, i dunnoe for what reason.. So my class went to the library for self study. Although its one period only, i reallie need a moment to rest. After Physics, its CME and English. Both subjects i can handle. Not that boring yet not that exciting either.

After school, had SNO training. As usual, we practice the song Danny Boy and Romo Ono Maleng. Tomorrow the SNO will be having a SYF rehearsal in the school hall at 3pm. All are welcome including teachers.

So here i am, just finish doing my malay karangan. My eyes are not sleepy but the brain is dead. My mind is totally blocked off rite now. I'm soo tired this week. I can't remember the last time when i had SNO training everyday for two weeks, each training lasting bout 3-5 hrs. Niwaes, this is all for SYF. Our main goal is not to get gold, but to do our best. No matter the result, if our best is only a bronze, then so be it. Okies then i gotta go. I wanna eat, very the hungry rite now. My stomach is churning from the inside, i can hear the sounds of Angklung and Gamelan playing in my stomach. Hehehx, havn't had lunch and dinner actually. The only meal i had today is a pathetic breakfast in school.

So take care y'all, Andika outzz...

???Boring Wednesday???

Yesterday nite, i had trouble sleeping. Apparently, Ifah did not make it to the Naynyang Academy Of Fine Arts(NAFA). I can't believe she did not make it. She is really talented in art, and she can be a great artist or an art teacher. Guess she must have flung the interview, but i heard that she did okie. Hmm, niwaes i still can't believe it. Maybe the teacher there are blind or there's other students that is better then her. However, although she did not make it, to me ur still a fine art student. So move on with life, as i believe there will be other great things for you in the future. Feel sorry for u, i know how much it hurts to see your dreams shattered.

Today; school is boring as usual. Monday is always term 'Monday Blues'. I must make a name for wednesday as well. The lessons are very boring, each subjects has 2 periods except for geography which only has one. Started the day off with mother tongue, Mdm Abidah was not around because there are some guess coming to the school in the morning. As HOD, she must welcome the guess and assist the principal. So for malay, she gave us malay paper 2. But instead of doing it, i did geography homework. Hehehx, i did not finish the homework last night. Guess i was too tired. Luckily when malay period was over, i manage to finish the homework.

The downside is after all the rushing and effort i put in to finish the geography homework, Mrs Poh never go to class. Bummer!! Waste my time and effort only doing the geography homework. Today after school, i had SNO training. The Angklung started off kinda slow, they played reallie bad the first time round. Then they went to the AVA to view the recording. After the viewing and some talk, they went back to the music room and played again the SYF songs. This time, they did better. The Angklung is slowly but surely improving in every training.

Gamelan is kinda consistent. Song wise its really good, however the movements and visual impact is still a bit raw. So we must work on it, still got 5 days of training left. So not much time left. Guess who played bonang today??? Its none other than Ruzaili!!! Hahahx, the funniest part was when he complained that his legs can't fit inside the bonang frame. Guess his thighs is too big. So we place the bonang frame on top of the legs of the Base Angklung. So it is like 'lifted' to fit Ruzaili's legs. The gamelan boys saw it and they laughed. Heck, even i who had to train him laughed. But he's learning quite okay. I train him on the song Danny Boy just now. I can say that he knows 60% of the song already, and today is only his first time playing bonang.

After SNO, me and Danial when to eat at Kopitiam with Mr Khamis. We talked and joked about, tmr Mr Khamis needs some help to buy the accessories and Gamelan Jackets at Geylang. Maybe if i'm free tmr, i will go. Tomorrow again i got SNO. The fatigue is starting to show in me. But i will hold on, till SYF is over. Hehehx, after SYF den its study, study and study. Mid year Exams is around the corner and i haven't even started to revise yet. Sigh, have to study for one week straight after the SYF. Okies, this is it for now. Take carez and have a good nite sleep. Nitez n swit dreamz... ~~ZzZzZzZz~~

Some memories are best left forgotten

Helo, today i'm just gonna keep it short and simple as i'm feeling 'out' for the moment. The day was okay for me, i think my friends didn't notice it which is a big relief for me. I had school in the morning, Social Studies lesson was kinda great. Mrs Warrier asked me and kenedict to organise a class outing to either Bukit Timah Nature Reserve or Pulau Ubin. The outing will most likely be during the June holiday, the 3rd or 4th week is more preferable.

Chemistry test is cancelled!!! Which is also a major sigh of relief as i have completely forgotten about it. The test is rescheduled to tmr, so i better revise abit on the Mole topic. Then, i had DNT for the rest of the day. Today's lesson is conducted at the workshop. Mr Yeo gave us abit of good news and some bad news. The bad news is he will be marking our folio today whereas the good news is he won't be in school next week for DNT lesson. Wo0ho0!!! Finally, Mr Yeo is absent. He is never absent for school before, except for courses and etc.

The reason that i'm being moody today is because of some past memories. All i can say is today is my Ex's Birthday, so i 've been thinking bout her alot today. Kinda sux really, but what the heck. Okies then, i'l end here tonight. Take care and byez..

[[Your Stories, My Alibis]]

It's been an exciting week no doubt bout it. Conflicts, SYF training, Honours Day Performance and to top it off, a great but not so relaxing weekend. First off, as you all might have known, i will be having SYF training everyday till 25th April. Tiring as it may sound, but we are giving our best for the SYF Central Judging and i hope that our hardwork will pay off.

I wont talk bout honours day, as i 've written bout it on my last entry. On Saturday, early in the morning i make my way to school for SNO gamelan training. The practice was ok, except for the sec 1's. They are still weak in their playing and they can't follow the tempo. Sigh, so i teach them. Out of three, only 2 of them manage to get it. Gonna train them again on monday, hopefully this time it will be perfect. After training, i went back home and immediately lay on my comfy bed. I slept for bout 3 hours, guess i was so tired due to this week activities.

Today, i went for soccer this morning. Supposed to go out but i was too tired. Still not enough rest from yesterday. Hmm, niwaes.. When i woke up, i did my geog homework, CME project and change my blogskin.

Saving the best for last, this week is a week of conflict. My personally favourite; Nadiah VS Sharifah. Hahahx, i really expected it to happen. Just waiting for the time, and unfortunately as it may sound, the time has come! Hmm, seeing them argue makes me wonder what's friendships all about? Issit trusting your friends and accepting them for who they are? Being there for them when they are in desperate need, or are friends just companions that accompany you through time? They do not care bout your feelings and they don't share our sorrows.

Friend in the dictionary means; someone that you know well and enjoy spending time with. Well, if a friend knows me well. It goes to say that he/she should know my likings, detest, whether i'm in a foul mood or if i need someone to talk to. But is that what friend really means???

In my opinion, friends are people that understands you. They are there whenever we need them; share our sorrows and joys. Friends makes us feel belonged and they are some what similar to a family. A family of friends, if there is such a thing, is what i believe friends are. But does a friend have the right to change a person? In the case of Nadiah and Sharifah; Nadiah changed alot. She is no longer the shy, quiet and timid girl she used to be. She is more open, easy-going and she seems happy with the way she is right now. I have no problems with her change as i feel that she has changed for the better. All of my friends thought so too, all but one.
Sharifah felt that Nadiah is 'flirting' with the boys but in truth, the boys are just disturbing her for fun. Something which we always do, and mayb something which Sharifah miss. I am in no position to accuse her of being wrong or right but whatever it is, these two girls better sort things out quickly.

Next week is gonna be a long week. SYF training, battle of the 'little' titans between Nadiah and Sharifah, CME project, DNT folio and school work. Next week is the deadline for CME project, so i better get it cleared. My job is done, just the reflection left. In a way, i'm kinda surprised that many people know bout the conflict going on between Nadiah and Sharifah. Its gonna be an interesting end to this whole 'soap opera'. It reminds me of the television series, Days Of Our Lives. The show never ends...

---Honours Day---

Im dead tired! This week is really very tiring for me. Everyday i had SNO training, went back around 7pm. By then, my eyes are sleepy but tons of homework awaits me. Sigh, SYF is coming soon, on the 25th April. The Angklung Ensemble is improving with their playing and the sound quality, however they still lack expression. I just received news that i must train Ruzaili to play the bonang for SYF, worst still i must train him in 3 days! Hmm, i can train him the song Danny Boy in a day or half a day. Romo Ono Maleng, i cant train him in a day but its just the fast part that im concern. Im not sure if he can keep up with the tempo.

Niwaes, today is my school's Honours Day, A.K.A Speech Day. The SNO played 2 songs, Under The Boardwalk and Nona Nona. Its a great exposure for the new Sec 1 members, since its their first time performing in front of the audience. Furthurmore, im sure it will ease their nervousness during SYF.

School finished at 11am today, i went straight back home. Smsed with Ifah for a while, once i reached home i slept for bout an hour and a half. By 1.30pm, i woke up and get ready to go to school. Reached school around 2.35pm, set up the gamelan instruments on stage and then went to the A.V.A room which is our holding area. We had our lunch which is provided by the school.. First off, the lunch is pathetic! I had Mee Putih and a 1 miserable hotdog. Tats is! Plus, the Mee Putih is really plain, it had no taste at all. Unfortunately, since my stomach was grumbling for food, i had to eat it.. Its a case of no choice..

After our lunch, the SNO get ready. The angklung proceed to their positions which is at the rear hall whereas the Base Angklung, Kulintang and the Gamelan is positioned backstage. We waited for bout 45 mins at backstage. Stupid Guest-Of-Honour Mdm Wong and Principal Mr Ng mumbling non-stop. Luckily i wasn't the audience, if i was i will be dead bored. I might even leave the hall to get a breath of fresh air.

After both morons( Mdm Wong and Mr Ng) finished their long boring speech, prize presentations was up next. Then, it was our turn to perform. Stage curtain is closed, and we place our instruments on stage in a space of one minute. We performed quite well, received many compliments from teachers, students and guests. After the performance, the instruments are carried back to the respective rooms. The gamelan is placed in the Learning Room, where we will conduct our trainings from now onwards. So we do not need to carry the instruments back and forth, besides its tiring.

After all is done, i went to west plaza to have a drink with Mr Khamis then went back home. So here i am, posting my blog. Gonna sleep really late tonite, need to do my CME project. Gotta go for now, il post a new entry mayb tmr. Got SNO practice from 10-1 tmr, so hopefully my eyes
can hold it. Take care, bye!

[Compromised Love]

Woke up at 7.20 this morning for soccer practice. I bathed, get ready and went out by 8am.. Today; Yan, Azri, Fadhil didn't come for soccer. I did some jogging, ball control and then we played a 2-aside match. We were divided into 3 team, each with about 8 players. The first match my team drew, 0-0. We had a lot of chances to score but failed to do so, haiz.. Our 2nd match we won 3-0, courtesy of 2 goals from Hafiz and one by Asri. So after the 2nd match we take a break. After the break, we played another match, this time only consisting of 2 teams. Again, my team won!! 3-0 the final score. I scored 1 while i assist another. After soccer, i went back home and started doing my DNT folio while watching DVD.

My parents bought Samara, Be cool and The Pacifier. I watched Samara on thursday, quite scary. Today, i watched The Pacifier first and then Be Cool. The Pacifier was reallie funny, i enjoyed the show very much. First time i see Vin Diesal playing a family comedy movie. Be Cool was okay2 for me, quite funny as well. DNT; i only did about 3 papers with no writing yet. I can't concentrate on DNT today cos of my fren's prob..

Well, she actually loves a guy although he is a real pain in the ass. I dunnoe what she sees in him besides the vain, arrogant, unappreciative and most importantly uncaring attitude which he have. She says love is blind, but actually it is she who is blinded by love. So she stead with him bout a 3 months ago, i was actually surprised that it lasted for more than 2 months. She tried to change his attitude, try to make him care for her and be a better person. Unfortunately, the hearts of men are not easily swayed except when it comes to love. The more she tried to change him, the worst he becomes.

But she still loves him, that i dunnoe y? Is she really in love? Mayb so, but what about the boy? Does he loves her as much as she does or he is just along for the ride? Finally, on Friday i noe the answer to all the questions...

She loves the boy, but the boy does not loves her. He is just along for the ride. She thinks her love can change the boy to be a better person, well in my opinion thats just wishful thinking. She loves the boy for his looks only so tats not true love. And i dunnoe why she thinks that her so-called love can change him.. We love someone for who he is, no matter the flaws they have. If we have to change to suit the likings of the one we love, then tat is not love anymore. Its more like a compromise. And love does not need any compromisation.

Changing a person's attitude through love happens only in movies. It occurs in real life, but very rarely. Occasionally men's heart becomes as hard as stone when someone tries to change them. Men dun like to be controlled, they prefer to be in control. Call it Ego, its the truth. So, in my opinion.. She is really stupid to love a guy and believing that he can change with her love. Its funny cause i used to think that she noes what love is, but i was wrong.. She still doesn't understand love, and how it works..

When it comes to a long lasting relationship, finding the right guy to start one is easy. But making the relationship last is harder. It's like holding sand at the palm of your hand. Hold it with your hands open, the sand will stay at your hand. But when you clench ur hands till it becomes a fist, the sands will fall from your hands. Same principle when it comes to relationships. Try too hard to make the relationship last, it will fail.

So my frens, a word of advice. Love someone for who they are and don't put too much strain to make the relationship lasts. I understand that when u embark on a relationship, u want it to last. But take it easy, sometimes a little space is required. Alritey then, il end here for now. Take care, bye.. (",)

{Hmm..}

Heloz.. How r u all doin? hope u peeps are in the pink of health and ur life is goin on well.. First off, i would like to congratulate the Siglap Choir Ensemble for achieving silver in the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging and the Malay Dance for clinching gold. Both ensemble worked reallie hard for the past few months and their hardwork has paid off. Next will be the Concert Band, their SYF will be held on the 16th of April i think, its either 15th or 16th. Oh well, best of luck to u guys as well ("

My SNO will have our SYF on the 25th of April. Both Gamelan and Angklung will be showcasing our piece on the same day so its gonna be a hectic period from now till SYF.

Today's school is ok2. As usual, thusday's first few lessons was a bore. Maths, malay and physics is soo boring! But no matter how boring the lesson is, its still my core subjects and i must do well on these subjects for my 'O' level.

After school, i had social studies remedial. Mrs Warrier was taking both 5N3 and 5N1 class. Mr Tharmen had the malay dance SYF and he was not in school. So she had to take charge and conduct the remedial lesson. Nothing much happen, we did source based questions. After remedial, i hang out for a while. Went to West Plaza to buy waffle, chocolate flavour. Very nice i have to say, den i went back to school for SNO self practice. In the midst of the self practice, ifah sms me. She going out wif Miza, watching a move called Miss Congeniality 2 starring Sandra Bullock.

By the way, i went to meet her on Saturday after her work. We had a great time, Miza was also wif us. We joked around, i especially like the part when Miza screamed at the top of her lungs when she was in the toilet. Ifah was so terrified, being afraid that Miza might fall or hurt herself. But apparently, she screamed because her handphone drop.*Hand slap at forehead*

Of all the things that i was imagining at that moment, that thought did not crossed my mind. I thought she fell or mayb hit something sharp. Luckily it was just her handphone.. Niwaes, it was kinda funny with the way she xplain the incident to us.

I reached home, i suddenly noticed a case of deja vu.. My family was watching Miss Congeniality 2 on DVD! I was kinda shocked cause Ifah was watching that movie later at night. It was a coincidence, i never thought that i will be watching Miss Congeniality 2 today. So i ate while watching the movie. It was ok2 for me, kinda funny. Up next was Ring 2. Scary movie but not that scary to me, it was alrite2. I prefer The Saw. That's a real scary movie and very gory as well..

Tmr is friday and its my favourite day! Y? Cause there is no school the next day. Well, technically there is no school but i got SNO practice on Saturday. But atleast it beats going to school and study. I would rather go for SNO practice than remedials on saturdays. Tmr i have SNO practice so i'l be going home quite late. But not so late of course as Smallville season premiere starts tmr.

Oh well, i gtg for now. I wanna watch O.C.. Catch you all later, take care n byez!

| My tHoUhGts |

Love is blind, or issit we who are blinded by love?? This question has been in my mind for the last few hours, my parents told me that love is not blind. It is we who are blinded by love. Well, logical explaination it may seem but how do i connect it to all the other probs that we teenagers faced? I mean different ppl have their own different problems. So i was thinking from 4pm till now, is love reallie blind? Hmm, today just had a reallie nice chat wif someone at MSN. She just broke up with her boyfren, due to some personal feelings. I can tell that she loves the boy very much but the boy had some problems of his own. I dunnoe what the problem is but all i noe is he needs some time n space.

Yet, how can they as a couple who smsed two days ago telling each other that he/she is the love of their life and he/she will cherish their love for each other break up eventually? Issit just sweet talk or are they reallie declaring their love for one another? Well, guess love isn't blind after all. Love is not blind. We are the ones who are blinded by love. Call it deception or imagination or wishful thinking, it is these traits that cause us to be blinded by love. We believe that we found our true love when we embark on a relationship with someone we so-called love. Well, thats just wishful thinking in my opinion cause their relationship might end up failing. Guess that believe has resulted in us being over-zealous towards the one we love. They want so much for their relationship to work out till they forgot the feelings of their loved one. Thou i dun think this is the case of my fren, i believe in general, this is what ppl faced.

Guess being single isn't so bad after all. I help my frens wif their probs and try to find a solution for them or just comfort them if they are sad. Their mistake, i learn from it. But i juz hope that they wont repeat their own mistakes or make my mistake which i regret painfully. We teens think that we noe so much bout love and we boldly declare that we learn love through experience. Well, its true, Love cannot be taught by someone. It has to be felt then it can be understood. But love hurts, it brings regret, anger and sadness. Yet for all the pain it caused us, it gives us comfort, care, serenity and most important.. happiness

Love is complicated. I might understand the meaning of love, but i've never felt it. My relationship wif Farhana can be considered infatuation. Although we had some genuine lovely moments, i was young. Probably naive as well. But one relationship has certainly change my life and thats for sure. Am i ready for another relationship?? Mayb but i'm still afraid of repeating the same mistake. The mistake may seem minor, but then the end result certainly wasn't minor. Hope to turn back time and forgive her when i had the chance.

All these coming from a 17 year old boy who has experience onli happiness and regret in my last relationship.. Might be hard to believe or some might just think that it's just bull's talk. Well, whats ur opinion i can't change it. You peeps are free to have ur own opinion towards me. I just need to clear this out of my mind or else i can't start my dnt folio. Oh well, gotta go for now. Need to pray and hopefully start on my dnt. Bye and take care, (",)